MANAGING STRESS

When you're stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you're more likely to misread your romantic partner, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, or lapse into unhealthy stretch reflex patterns of behavior. How often have you been stressed and flown off the handle or radar, throw temper tantrums at your loved one and said or done something you later regretted?

If you can learn to quickly manage stress and return to a calm state, you'll not only avoid such regrets, but you'll also help to avoid conflict and misunderstandings and even help to calm your partner when tempers build.

What is the fastest way to relieve stress?

There are countless techniques for managing stress - Yoga, mindfulness meditation, and exercise are just a few examples of stress-relieving activities that work wonders. But in the heat of the moment, during a high-pressured job interview, for example, or a disagreement with your spouse/partner, you can't just excuse yourself to meditate or take a long walk. In these situations, you need something more immediate and accessible.   

One of the speediest and most reliable ways to stamp out stress is to engage one or more of your senses - sight, sound, taste, smell, touch or through movement. Since everyone is different, you'll need to do some experimenting to discover which technique works best for you but the payoff is huge. You can stay calm, productive, and focused when you know how to quickly relieve stress.

Social interaction is your body's most evolved and surefire strategy for regulating the nervous system. Talking face-to-face with a relaxed and caring listener can help you quickly calm down and release tension. Although you can't always have a pal to lean on in the middle of a stressful situation, maintaining a network of close relationships is vital for your mental health. Between sensory based stress relief and good listeners, you'll have your bases covered.

STEP 1: Recognize when you're stressed

It might seem obvious that you'd know when you're stressed, but many of us spend so much time in a frazzled state that we've forgotten what it feels like when our nervous systems are in balance: when we're calm yet still alert and focused. If this is you, you can recognize when you're stressed by listening to your body. When you're tired, your eyes feel heavy and you might rest your head on your hand. When you're happy, you laugh easily. And when you're stressed, your body lets you know that, too. Get in the habit of paying attention to your body's clues. Dilated pupils, trembling, pale or flushed skin, rapid heart beat and breathing.

Observe your muscles and insides. Are your muscles tense or sore? Is your stomach tight, cramped, or aching? Are your hands or jaw clenched?

Observe your breath. Is your breathing shallow? Exhale - inhale. Place one hand on your belly, the other on your chest. Watch your hands rise and fall with each breath. Notice when you breathe fully or when you "forget" to breathe (like someone taught me..Lol).

Step 2: Identify your stress response

Internally, we all respond the same way to the "fight-or-flight" stress response: your blood pressure rises, your heart pumps faster, and your muscles constrict. Your body works hard and drains your immune system. Externally, however, people respond to stress in different ways.

The best way to quickly relieve stress often relates to your specific stress response:

Overexcited stress response; If you tend to become angry, agitated, overly emotional, or keyed up under stress, you will respond best to stress relief activities that quiet you down.

Underexcited stress response; If you tend to become depressed, withdrawn, or spaced out under stress, you will respond best to stress relief activities that are stimulating and energizing.

Step 3: Bring your senses to the rescue

To use your senses to quickly relieve stress, you first need to identify the sensory experiences that work best for you. This can require some experimentation. As you employ different senses, note how quickly your stress levels drop. And be as precise as possible. What is the specific kind of sound or type of movement that affects you the most? For example, if you're a music lover, listen to many different artists and types of music until you find the song that instantly lifts and relaxes you. Or you sing songs that you like if you have a thing for singing.

Let your imagination run free and come up with additional things to try. When you find the right sensory technique, you'll know it!

Sight

Stress Relievers

Sight

√ Look at a cherished photo or a favorite memento. 

√ Enjoy the beauty of nature: a garden, the beach, a park, or your own environment. 

√ Surround yourself with colors that lift your spirits.

√ Close your eyes and picture a place that feels peaceful, soothing and rejuvenating.

Touch

√ Wrap yourself in a warm blanket.

√ Give yourself a hand or neck massage or you can get someone to do it for you.

√ Wear clothing that feels soft against your skin.

Smell

√ Smell the roses or another type of flower.

√ Enjoy clean, fresh air in the great outdoors.

√ Spritz on your favorite perfume or cologne.

Taste

√ Slowly savoring a favorite treat can be very relaxing, but mindless eating will only add to your stress and your waistline. The key is to indulge your sense of taste mindfully and in moderation.

√ Chew a piece of sugarless gum.

√ Indulge in a small piece of dark chocolate.

√ Sip a steaming cup of coffee/tea or a refreshing cold drink.

√ Eat a perfectly ripe piece of fruit.

√ Enjoy a healthy, crunchy snack.

Movement

√ If you tend to shut down when you're under stress or have experienced trauma, stress-relieving activities that get you moving may be particularly helpful.

√ Run in place or jump up and down.

√ Dance around.

√ Stretch or roll your head in circles.

√ Go for a short walk.

Sound

√ Sing or play a favorite tune.

√ Listen to calming or uplifting music.

√ Tune in to the soundtrack of nature - birds singing, crashing waves, the sound of blowing wind or rustling trees.